Resolutions. resolutions.

2010 is almost here! I can even smell it!!

Its the begining of another decade :)

Finally its the final day of 2009.

What a year has it been. A total roller-coaster ride for me.

2009,

the year which gave me so much heartache, stress, tears and headaches.

I've lost so many things this year. So many things, from school stuff to my best friend and even myself.

It was really hard trying to cope and get through every single obstacle this year. But, I guess it made me a stronger person.

Looking back to 2008 where I just simply threw away that golden opportunity to venture out of Malaysia and widen my horizons, I feel like a total idiot as well as a fool.

What held me back?

Stupid smalll dreams which I thougt I could acheive by staying here.

Me being scared of leaving my friends.

Scared of the stress I would face.

That goes to show how not prepared I am to face the real world. I seriously need to grow up.

Now I'm stuck here as a nobody and being all pathetic.

Oh wells, I guess there were some good out of this bad year.

I've learnt alot of life lessons this year,

I got to know about Adam Lambert!! :)

I did alot of church stuff and met new pople and made new friends along the way.

I met my cousins whom I've not met in so many years.

I've become a stonger person in terms of emotionally.

So its 2010, another year, so I have another batch of resolutions.

Hmmm, lets see what I've got on my mind.

My new year's resolution for 2010.

• To be more hardworking
• To be more organized
• To get a proper grip on my life
• To be more level headed
• To do my very best in SPM ( hopefully all A1s' or is it A+ )
• To be more responsible and sensible
• To LOOSE WEIGHT! (5kg)
• To further develop my skills in the piano and the guitar
• To be more independent and less depandable on others
• To be closer to God.
• To take my studies more seriously
• To learn now to swim :)
• To be less moody
• To blog more
• To spend less time shopping and watching tv
• To sing better XD
• To be a better writer

Okay, whew, I think that should be all. Too much then later I would be disappointed cause I cannot acheive every single thing on the list.

Hahaha, my sis wanna use the computer now so since its the first day of the year, I'll give in to her. I'm so good and responsible now. So one aspect has been settled on my resolution list right? :)

Oh! Before I forget,

ADAM WAS AWESOME AT THE NEW YEAR'S COUNTDOWN PERFORMANCE!!!

Happy New Decade.

Oh-So-Lazy-ME

I've got to be the most laziest person in the whole of Johor Bahru.
I can't even keep my blog alive.

But, you can't really blame me.
Blame the teachersfor giving me so much homework!
Blame the Ministry of Education for giving such a short holiday!
Blame the television broadcasting companies for showing so many nice shows!
Blame my sister for hogging the computer for so long!
Blame my parent for allowing me to inherite the "lazy-genes"

Whew.

Okay, I guess I'm pretty much blaming everyone except myself.
God alone knows what has gotten into me.
Suddenly I've turned into some bum with mood-swings.
I really think it must be the Add Maths that turned me into this horrific monster.


Its the 25th of December 2009. Christmas.
Somehow, typing the fact that it is already Christmas feels so weird.
Every year, even a month before Christmas I would always have this warm and excited feeling.
But this year, I just felt so bleak.
I guess I was a total wet blanket this Christmas.
But I'm feeling much better today after letting all out yesterday night.

Hmmm, I've got nothing much to say.
I want to play Icy Towers now :)
So, before leaving, I just want to wish everyone a

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

Merry Christmas to you and I love you.

This is my choice for:

Favorite Breakout Music Artist

Adam Lambert

IM BACK!!

Whew, its been a really long long long time since I posted anything here.

My blog has gotten dusty and ancient.

Gosh my last post dates way back in August.

That is bad.

Well its totally not fair to blame me for the lack of posts in my blog. Blame my lazybone.

Seriously, I've been too lazy to actually post anything and my creative juices have run dry.

Every single time I long on, I'm speechless.

Oh wells, my excuses can only go so far.

So without further delay, I'm going to make blogging a daily thing.

I've realised tht with out posting things on a regular basis, my writing skills have deteriorated, my creative side has depleated and I'm always finding it hard to actually string a sentance together.

Bad, bad, bad.

Its been decided that every time I post about something it won't just revolve around me,myself and I but more like it revolves around the questions I think about daily.

Its no joke I have a ton of questions, my freinds have heard about like maybe a quarter.

The rest are just swimming in my head distraciting me from my daily activities.

So here's what I proposed to do, I'll post a question daily and give my feedback on it.

Others can give theirs that is if people start coming here again.

So, lets get the ball rolling, since its just my first day, I'll start with something not-so-deep.

The question is

"Education, a good thing or a bad thing?"

Ahhh, and I know there are people rolling their eyes and thinking, I'm nuts to even ask such a one-sided question.

Duh, education is important for the devolpment of humans, the world and the universe says the teachers, the politicians and almost every single living soul in the world.

But how true is it?

Okay, lets look at it from a different perspective, we humans are so eudcated these days.

We know how we function, we know how the world revolves, we know how to clone stuff, we know about technology, we practically know about everything.

But, do we know too much?

Its because of this knowledge humans know how to create nuclear weapons.

People are making these mass-destruction weapons which can and will kill people.

Cloning, has it ever crossed your mind that with clonning, people can clone people like Hitler and Osama?

Come on, don't tell me these people do not have legions of followers that want to see them alive and kicking now.

Can you imagine the state of the world's population when Hitler exsisted in this era.

New inventions, new ideas.

All these new things people create without thinking of its implications on the environment.

Yes, yes, I know without education we won't have doctors to cure people, we won't have scientist coming up with new solutions on how to save the world.

But how did these problems come up in the first place?

I highly doubt the cavemen needed doctors and scientist.

So my dear friends, to me education I guess has its boundaries.

You know, in good hands yay! in bad boo!

But seriously who are we to play God in this type of things?

___________________________________________________________________________

I'm down with the flu.

What great timing just when the end-of-the-year rush begins I will be sick.

Typical.

Anyway, as I sat in bed whinning about my bad luck I had alot of time to let thoughts swim thru my head.

Stuff which I kept pushing aside everyday due to exams.

I just figured that I'm just so clueless about whats to come next after I step my feet out of the gates of Convent.

Its like stepping out into the world for the first time.

I have no idea what I'm going to do.

Everything is like a gigantic question mark.

Believe it or not its happening next year.

I'm so eager to leave highschool, but I'm so unsure of myself.

I'm as always contradicting myself.

What if I'm not matured enough to deal with the stress out there?

What if I turn wild?

All the "what ifs" that I can never answer now.

All this paranoia is either Steve's fault or its just the flu making my head go nuts.

I can never sit in a quiet room cause thats when my brain comes alive giving me scary thoughts.

Oh, its four already, American Idol Season 8 is on TV now =)

Thats all for now.

revamp!!

Okay, my blog has been dead.
Yes, dead but not gone!
I'm on a mission now to revamp my blog.
So, it'll be underconstruction in the next few days.
Hopefully I'll be done soon!

Awww..

You know what.
I think I can accept the fact Adam lost to Kris.
I mean, now I've just realised what a great friendship they had.
Just wath the videos la.
They are so freaking cute together!!

Hahaha!!

Love it.

I'm happy.

Nobody Listens.

And its happens yet again.

America makes the wrong decision yet again leaving me all heart-broken, irritated and really hating them a whole lot more.

Adam lost.

Gosh, this is the only season which really affected me so badly.

Seriously, I mean how on earth could Adam loose?

Its not like I hate Kris. Don't get me wrong, I think Kris is good.

But Adam's better. So much better.

Chances are he lost cause of his sex-orientation.

So what if his gay.

Welcome to the 21st century. Almost 70% of the world's population is bisexual, or atleast they subconciously are.

Anyways, whats with people being so narrow-minded and acting old just like my dad.

I thought Idol was about talent not about one's personal life and preference in whatever gender.

So childish.

Funny story about my dad.

Coming home from school on that faithful day.

The day which America decided Kris was the best singer in that region.

I was just exhausted and tired after a long day of add maths and history papers.

My dad was acting weird.

He asked me how was the papers and he said he wanted to talk.

As you know I get freaked out when my parents want to have "The Talk".

Fine I just sat down and waited.

Then he asked me, "Why am I so crazy over Adam?"

Ahh..I figured. He got scared when he saw Adam perform with KISS.

His reaction was just hilarious, full of concern and just so worried his daughter would bring home a gay or someone who looks like Adam.

He was like, "Eunice why can't you like normal guys?"

I just said, "Define normal."

"Normal. As in guys who don't dress-up or wear make-up or have blue streaks in their hair or have nuemerous piercings", my dad said with the usual frown of worry.

I answered, "Dad, are you homophobic? What did Adam do to offend you? I like Adam for his talent and I don't care if his gay or not."

My dad wanted to continue but I just held up my hand.

Ah, I bet that won't be the end of it.

I'm sure my dad is having this internal debate about whether to bring up this topic.
I understand his position. Its only natural for a parent to feel worried if thier child tends to have this liking for homosexual people.

But I guess thats just me.

I have to admit, I've fallen for about 4 gays in my short life span on earth.

I have no idea what I like about them.

I think its the fact that they actually take the time and effort to look good.

Normal guys just seem all too sloppy and sluggish.

Just my opinion. I'm not a sexist or anything.

_________________________________________________________________________

I'm gonna drop dead of exhaustion soon.
My brians have been evaporized. There's been too much input this whole 3 weeks.
I can't stand exams.
I readlised as I get older the exams gets longer.

________________________________________________________________________


SEE THE VIDEOS!!

I LOVE ADAM!

EXAMS.

Okie, so its been like one month since I actually posted something here.
Yesh, many thought my bloggy's dead, but neh its alive.
Its just my computer was out-of-service since last month.

Anyways, I didn't wanna blog today or for the rest of this month cause its the exam period.
Incase your reading this and your thinking "its the exams?". Dude get off your arse and study!
Speaking of studying. Wonder why I'm here tending to my dead blog instead of mugging for my Bio exam tommorow?
Wells, I think I should blog something about American Idol before this Thursday.
Incase you are thinking, "Whats on this thursday?". I say DUDE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING?
okie incase you don't know its already the finale.
And its a showdown between Kris Allen and Adam Lambert.
A showdown between the pretty boy and the hot guy with an extraordinary talent which comes once in like a decade.

Yesh, I admit I maybe a bit biased and its pretty obvious I'm a true blue Adam Lambert supporter.
Don't get me wrong. I like Kris, his rendition of Heartless was AWESOME. Its just Adam is so much more AWESOME!

Heck the fact his gay, heck the fact that my religion doesn't support gays. I still love him. I'm still hoping I'll marry him one day.
I mean his talent is just out-of-this-world.
The first time he sang I was in love.

People say its gonna be the battle between Adam's Mad World and Kris's Heartless.
To me there isn't really a battle.
Heartless was good but in terms of vocals and originality, Mad World is in a different league.
But its America's vote.
Are they ready for their first homosexual idol?
Can they appreciate Adam's talent and music?





These two performances were like really awesome Adam performances!!

Adam krumping!!

ADAM! ADAM! ADAM!

Exams boo!

So What!

In conclusion, things better start moving soon before I get even more pist.

Frustrating beyond my limits.

My menopausal parents.

Forgive me for my french again.

They are out to just make life miserable.

Leave me alone for God sake.

As I said in my previous post, I'm considering pink hair.

Hmmmmm,

I don't know, pink? red?

I want something really shocking.

I hate black hair.

Haha, the irony I'm asian hating black hair.

I guess people are like that.

Convent Interact is officially classified as an emo club.

What's with all the song choices?

We know Convent environment's really stressful, but don't need to make it that obvious.

Why can't we lighten up abit??

Or atleast try atempting less ambitious songs.

But, that isn't my case, I'm not gonna care.

Its not me loosing face.

Sorry forgive my self-centeredness.

____________________________________________________________________

Beauty of roses, even if its half-dead it still manages to produce something which is something significant. If our lives were like that.

As you all know, I supposedly lost my temper during the debate.

But I did not, its just the way I talk.

With all said and done, I won't be given the chance to speak anymore.

Eva's gonna get that prestige chance.

Yay her.

Adam rocks! Adam rocks!

Save me. Dadeedumdum.

Music. Remedy to being sane.

Music, music, music.

I think I want pink hair.

Stress, its taking a toll on me.

I think I'm gonna loose it one fine day.

The only thing keeping me sane, music.

God bless the soul who invented it.

As I said time and time again, I've did not inherit the music talents of both my parents.

But, I obviously inherited their love for it.

I guess, its safe to say I would most likely die without it.

The beats, bass, lyrics all in harmony keeping me happy.

Its hard to explain the sense of relief or peace of mind after listening to a few songs.

Even on my roughest day, just a few songs and I'm able to smile.

The wonders of music.

Enhances the soul as musch as the telly.

However, my wonderful music loving parents simply refuses to get me an MP3 or an I-pod.

No matter how much I plead or beg, throw tantrums and be sickly sweet.

They refuse to budge.

For the love of god, its just an MP3.

Its hard you know, trying to make music portable.

I can't possibly carry my radio around.

I can't keeping burning new CDs daily to keep up with what songs I want.

ALL I WANT IS AN MP3!

with a memory space of atleast 2GB.

I guess I have to put that on hold and wait until I have a steady income, in others words, when I start working.

Damn, isn't that in like a long while more?

I may have gone mad by then.

Help me!

News From The Boring and Mundane Side of Life.

Never would I expect to see the day which I acutally watch the telly for as long as two hours per week.
The only show I'm actually following, American Idol Season 8.

Oh my tien (kari taught me this), I thought I saw the best of AI last season. This season is so much better. Whatever Miss Krystal may say about AI being over-rated and what not, I still love it. My dear darlings for this season.



My darling Adam Lambert. Glam Goth Rocker with a mad range. Loved him from the time he sang Bohemian Rapsody during his auditions. Love the over-dramaticness and sexy-vibe from him. See how he sang Satisfaction, A-mah-zing. Randy says he sees Edward Cullen in him. Huh?





Nathaniel, I hated him at first. Such a drama mama, but after he sang Distrubia I love him.
Who cares if his gay, who cares if his so emotional like Rachel. His good. By the way, the first video is Nathaniel singing Bleeding Love. He did both Disturbia and Bleeding Love better than their original singers. Sadly the Disturbia video is just an audio.




Danny Gokey. Love his voice. I think he may win.

_____________________________________________________________________

My 16th birthday just passed.
I had every taste of 16, sour, salty, bitter except sweet.
I had my bio exam on that day which I failed.
Many forgot it was my birthday cause it was an exam day.
I don't blame them, I understand that exams are so stressful.
I hate exams!!

I'm in my school's debate team.
One of my dreams have been fulfilled.
But I doubt I'm gonna be speaking much cause of the fact I'm sharing speaking position with Eva.
Melodramatic problems of a 16 year old.
_____________________________________________________________________

Prefect job is killing me. But I want to be a prefect.
Infact I want to be in Top 6 next year. Thats a bit impossible I know.
But I must persevere.

Before I disappear for another few years or die due to the fact of my horrendous results, here is our Michael Cheering team in action.
We should have won.

I'm boring.

Still As Confused As Ever.

I just came back from Nao's birthday.

It was fun.

I was distracted from all problems for a short while.

My smile was truly sincere these past two days.

Now's back to reality and enduring some extremly highly hell-of-a-great people's fart again.

Pardon me for my French.

I'm in the process of making a few life changing decisions.

Its currently confusing me even more.

I must solve and make these decisions soon so that my peace of mind will return and life will somehow lighten up.

If only our purposes in life were much more obvious and clear cut to each of us.
Then, I, infact many of us won't be wasting most of our lives away just trying to figure out what's our purpose for existing on the face of this earth.
Decisons then will be so much easier, things will be clearer and I won't be so confused.
I'm tired of playing this game of "Guessing Which is The Right Move".
Thinking, thinking and more thinking.
It never ends.
I guess thats how things are supposed to be.

I wonder, what if my choices for life were made differently?
Will I be satisfied or will I still be moaning like I am now?
Humans are selfish beings.
We want everything.
Its in our nature to demand for the best of everything life can offer.
But somehow, the more we want and demand, the more difficult it is to find our inner-peace.
Contradicting in many ways, but thats just life. Its out to kill us in some way or another.

All we are certain of in our short-lived and extremly full of chaos life is we are all gonna die one day.
Death is the point which all humans are heading for.
So isn't it in a way wasting time for succeding so much when we are all meeting the same fate?
It doesn't matter if your a president or a begger each individual is heading for that one certain destination.
So why all these competition?
Why all these issues about this is my territory and that is yours?
Shoudn't everyone be considered equal?
Things like wars and racism should not exist.

I guess just being a teen my words don't carry much weight.
But just being a teen and I see this issues from this perspective shouldn't those who actually hold power have a much matured and beter perspective of certain issues?
Its a world where everyone are actually supposed not to be over competitive.
I guess its just we are so accustomed to being and wanting the best in everything we tend to forget that not everyone can afford to be first and that being number two is actually alright.

Gosh, what a long "speech".

I guess its been bottled up in me for way too long.

Its getting late, there's school, works incomplete, lesson remain unrevised and my list of to-do's keeps getting longer.

Best be off.

Atempting something new.

Some Are Just Too Fortunte For Their Own Good.

My blog titles are getting longer and longer. They are turning into something like a Fall Out Boy song title.
That reminds me, Fall Out Boy are performing in Singapore and I can't go.

Sadly I'm not fortunate enough.

I just can't believe that some people are just so freaking fortunate. Its like their life are filled with so many good things.

Why is mine just the total opposite?

Don't I deserve atleast something?

I strongly believe that one should get their responsibilities or positions according to their capibility and talents, not their ability to suck-up.

I just absolutely abhore the fact that some people can get away with almost anything.

Some don't even have an ounce of capibility or talent but can get all the oppurtunities in the world to provethemselves.

Not saying I'm absolutely great or anything, but I feel that I am just as capable or even much more capable then some people.

Its just, I'm never given the chance to prove myself, the chance to shine, the chance to lead, the chance to breakfree.

I'm always in the shadow of popular people who get every single chance in everything just because they are famous or one of their family members are.

What kind of message is being sent across?

People from poor families like me and have not so famous siblings have to work 10 times more than this famous people to be somebody?

Where is the justice? Where are our rights? What is the world comiong to?

Living the life I leave now, saying the things I say now, I'm being classed under the category of "Emo".

Just to declare things, I'm not even close to emo.

I just have a harder and tougher life compared to people my age.

So, I tend to see things from a bleaker point of view.

I tend to be a little unstable emotionally.

____________________________________________________________________

My friend who I met in Standard one is leaving on Monday.

Keshi, the girl who bullied me in primary one.

I'm really gonna miss her loads.

I mean although we weren't that close, we knew each other for like 8 years.

And seeing her on Friday and knowing that I won't get to see her again brought tears to my eyes.

Keshi, if you do ever visit my blog,

GOOD LUCK IN LIFE!

Luckily we took a picture together.

_____________________________________________________________________

I've given up on you.

I guess I should just be content with us being friends instead of spoiling everything.

You'll be like a brother to me.

This week has been a really long, exhausting and tiring week.

Everything went wrong. Everything was against me.

Life's been hard on me.

I'm praying hard for an improvement.

MP3 please?

In Need Of Serious Peace of Mind.

My blog is D-E-A-D.

Just like my social life, D-E-A-D.

Form 4 is turning me into a serious nerd.

thanks Mr. Joachim Goh whatever whatever a.k.a Tom Cruise (yea right)

For pointing out the fact my blog's dead and I'm always busy.

Everyday, doesn't matter if its Monday or Sunday, a weekday or a weekend, a normal schooling day or a holiday, I have work, work and yes, more work.

Add maths, Modern maths, Bio, Chem, Physics even Moral.

Every subject has work everyday.

Life is like a routine which is the same every single day.

Wake up, eat, school, homework, sleep.

Its the same for holidays as well.

We get work that would actually take us a year to finish.

Notes for every single subject, 100++ add maths questions and whatever nots.

I've actually got free tickets for the movies and I don't even have the time to sllep let alone catch a movie.

Am I like the only person in form 4 who feels this way??

Its like Joachim still has time to do everything normally and he blames me for being busy.

Like I can help it.

I don't see Rebecca or Greg cracking under the pressure.

Oh well, its Rebecca and Greg, the biggest smart asses of my time.

Ah well, its time for me to return to my work.

I still have ERT notes, EA work, more add maths questions and an exam coming up in 3 weeks time.

Was I this busy last year?

Will I be still stuck under the burden of my work this whole year?

How will my sweet sixteen be?

Not great. Its slap right in the middle of exam week.

WTF!!

I want an MP3!

Confused, Dazed, Unsure.

I have not logged online for one week.

For the first time in my life, the first week of school is so tiring and energy draining.

Form 4.

I'm confused, tired, so insecure, unsure and just plain tired.

Gah, I'm so unsure of the future.

I don't even know what I wanna do.

How to know what subjects to do then?

Should I take the extra subjects?

Will I die of pressure and stress??

I'm currently in a class full of smart people.

Just great, I'm gonna be last in the class.

I'm so lazy right now.