Its A Rainy Day

"Looking out of the window..and all I see is rain. How saddening, but somehow this gloomy weather seems to reflect my forlorn and despondent mood. I'm currently pondering, what exactly do I want to do now? Didn't I just receive what I've been waiting for? shoudn't I feel estatic and elated? But why am I sitting in a corner feeling all sad and down and somewhat lost. I seem to have lost my sense of direction in what I want. I think its just the weather, or maybe I'm not ready to let go of the menial things that don't signify anything in my future. But isn't the key to sucess is sacrifice? But why do I keep thinking about the stuff that happened in the past? Why are all these things holding me back? Why can't I seem to let go?" (I guess some questions aren't meant to be answered)

Ok so I've just heard. We (as in my friends and I) may not be going out this Thursday. Oh well..i guess I've kinda expected that. I mean, I would not have mind if not for the fact that it just maybe my last time spending time with you guys. I don't know what my future holds. I don't even know if I can deal with what I'm about to face. But I was kinda hoping I could maybe spend sometime laughing around and who knows maybe forget about what's about to come. I guess it doesn't matter much though. I know you guys have other things to do. I don't blame you all. Its just..yea..I'll miss you all and I'll always cherish the sweet memories we had.

So, I pretty much guess that on the 14th of June 2008 is gonna be the day where I make it or break it. I don't know whether I want to answer the questions to my fullest ability or am I afraid I may pass it and I won't be able to look back.

My dad's kinda scaring me. He keeps saying "you better learn how to wash your own clothes, be more independant, don't sleep too late and stuff cause once when your "there" you won't be able to cope if you don't let go of your old habits. You must always study regularly, the syllabus "there" is not the same as the education system here. "There" last minute studying won't bring you far." Oh man..I know what he says is right. But I can't seem to put it into action.

So 14th of June here I come. Not knowing whats install for me after that. But I guess I should take this chance and make it work!

Oh the thought of it is kinda killing me..